The bilateral love between a boy and a man, although it has a long and honorable history, has been corrupted in our time into somthing that is supposedly drastically harmful to the boy, and a perversion on the part of the man. Nothing could be further from the truth, and we shall attempt here to shed some light on these malicious myths that do their utmost to supress the facts.
Note: The discussion that follows consists mostly of statements of obvious fact and generalized knowledge of a non technical nature, leading to rational, although admittedly simplistic, conclusions. Also recommended: Language Abuse an essay by "A.I.", and On Boys and Boylovers by Jarod Benjamin. The myth of the boylover is that of the man in a trench coat, lurking around a playground with a pocketful of candy. A shadowy, evil, figure who is automatically linked with such loaded words as "child molester", "pervert", and the corrupted connotation of "pedophile". One whose only purpose in life is to force sexual activity upon any boy he can lure into his clutches. No one denies that these people exist, but these are not boylovers, somewhere, somehow, something has gone terribly amiss, and they have become predators.
The truth about boylovers is drastically different. They are people whom you know, teachers, neighbors, youth leaders, coworkers, scoutmasters, store clerks, coaches, citizens who are known for their care and compassion for boys. Men who deeply love and are concerned about the boys with whom they come in contact, men who would not harm a boy in any way. Men who are just like every other man except that they have been born with a sexual attraction to boys, upon which they may or may not act.
The myth that boys are not sexual until they reach a certain age is so absurd as to not need discussion, except that mental health "professionals", the "child abuse industry", and various right wing factions still try to promote this fantasy.
The truth is that self exploration begins at a very early age, and sex play with friends follows as soon as the opportunity presents itself. In this day and age, it is a rare boy that needs to be taught that he can derive pleasurable sensations from his genitals, and the few that do need instruction and encouragement usually find willing teachers among their peers at an early age.
The myth that any consensual, as opposed to forced, sexual activity between a man and a boy automatically constitutes "abuse", and will invariably result in emotional trauma to the boy has no basis in fact. This one, simple, malicious, and mistaken premise is the basis for the vicious and persistent persecution of boylovers. In addition, many of the supposed traumas elicited by psychotherapy turn out to be nothing more than the result of the False Memory Syndrome.
The truth is that the honest and credible investigation and research that has been done in this area indicates that "loved boys" are more likely to grow into happy, well adjusted adults than those whose quest for a loving mentor has been frustrated. And the vast majority are heterosexual as adults, the small percentage who are homosexual were born that way, not "made" that way by their experiences with a boylover.
The myth that the boylover spends his time searching for and stalking boys in order to groom them for eventual sexual activity is simply not born out in fact. While the boylover will frequently try to situate himself where he can enjoy the company of the boys to whom he is attracted, it is unlikely that, even if he were so inclined, he would endanger himself with overt attempts at seduction.
The truth is usually just the opposite. Once a boy has determined that he has found an older friend that he can trust implicitly, it is more likely if any sexual activities are proposed, the initiative will come from the boy. Driven by the insistence of his newly emerging hormones and his natural inquisitiveness, he will want to learn from his older, more experienced friend what his body is capable of doing, and what pleasurable feelings he can experience.
The myth of the boylover having only a selfish interest in practicing anal intercourse upon a perhaps willing but obviously suffering boy is not born out by investigation and research.
The truth is that sexual activity, if and when it does occur, most often takes the form of fondling and mastubation to orgasm of the boy by the man. Oral sex is much less frequent, again the boy is the recipient in the large majority of instances. Only rarely does the boy take the active part, the man derives his satisfaction from observing and participating in the boy's intense pleasure. Even more rare is anal intercourse by either party. Most of the men and boys who go into these loving and consensual relationships have nothing but happy memories of them, the friendship usually outlasts the sexual activities, and many remain close friends for a lifetime. Some, however, are not so fortunate.
The truth about the consequences of discovery and prosecution is horrible enough that there need be no corresponding myth. When a boylover and his beloved boy run afoul of society's malformed and misguided taboos, the relationship is invariably crushed, the man is punished and the boy is committed to "counselling". Both are then subjected to a living hell, simply because they chose to love one another in defiance of society's straightjacket.
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